Let’s Look-Managing Teenage Life

Happy Wednesday, Friends!

I hope you’re having a great week! We got back yesterday from our Chicago trip and my left ear has been stopped up ever since. I had a cold or allergies or something the week before and apparently the pressure in flight was too much for my ear congestion to take. haha! So, if you see me this week and speak. Please make sure you’re chatting in my right ear or I’ll never hear you. 😉

Today’s the day of the month where I team up with my girl, Shay, to take a little peek at a new topic. Today, we’re chatting MANAGING TEENAGE LIFE. But before we dive into that, let’s recap…

January-We covered our Low Level Goals. These are the goals that will make us feel productive but aren’t anything too difficult. I’m happy to report one item has already been crossed off my list!

February-We shared how we Work on our Marriage.

March-We discussed how we Reset for the Week.

April-We looked at Maintaining Friendships.

May-My Wellness Routine and I shared what that looks like on a weekly basis.

I skipped June & July. 🙁

August-We chatted about Juggling Family Schedules.

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I’d like to know who suggested this topic about teenagers because it makes me nervous. And it makes me think of this quote…

ISN’T

THAT

THE

TRUTH?!!

*I must preface this entire post by telling you that I’m not someone who’s gonna tell you I have it all figured out because I don’t. I also must tell you that REALLY great kids make terrible choices sometimes. If you’re walking through a tough time with your teenager, I want you to know it could be any of us at any given time. If we were having coffee and chatting, I’d give you a hug, pray for you and then hope if/when one of my kid makes a terrible choice you’d do the same for me. I don’t want these suggestions to come off “preachy”, I’m just sharing things we’ve done that seem to work well or things I’ve heard from parents who are a stage ahead of us in the parenting process. With that said, these are my suggestions for how we manage teen life right now. {Things could need to be tweaked at any moment!}

*My prayer life has NEVER been longer or more important to me. The teenage years can be REALLY hard! Do you remember yours?! Goodness gracious! While I have lots of great memories, I also remember friends being nice to you one minute and terrible to you another. I remember girls forgetting every bit of “girl code” and talking to your love interest the second you left. There’s school work, extra curricular activities, jobs, friends, family time, and so much that our teens are dealing with. Which is why, MY PRAYER LIFE HAS NEVER BEEN MORE IMPORTANT.

*We have set expectations. I’m going to be honest and say that many of our expectations are just unspoken in our house but what our kids have grown up knowing to be expectations. We expect teachers to feel respected by our teens, we expect our children to use manners, we expect your homework to be completed/turned in. Some of these are things we talk about and others are just things that by growing up in our home, they know are important.

*Along with the expectations, we have consequences. I was listening to a podcast the other day where two parents were talking about children and disciplining. The mom was saying that she ended up being more of the “bad cop” because she was the one with the kids more. It clicked with me in that moment! I’d always wondered why I felt like the “bad cop” but I think it was just the natural role for me to fall into. If Tab had been the “bad cop” our children would have been OUT OF CONTROL because he was traveling/working so much. Saying all that to say, when those expectations aren’t met we have consequences. Maybe we take their phone, maybe we ground them from something fun, or maybe they’re grounded from everything fun for a week or two. It really depends on the kid, the situation and what we think will work best.

*We help them manage their schedules. {I’m thinking of Bowen included in this post because he’s ALMOST a teen.}. All three of my teens have crazy busy schedules with school and activities. Most of the time when they have free time or a free night they make the more responsible decision. Instead of hanging with friends after three late nights/early mornings in a row, they will chill with the family. It doesn’t ALWAYS happen. I try to help them with this. As a mom, I’m often worried about them RESTING! If I can tell they’re cranky and just “off” {probably because they need sleep/rest}, then I’ll shut down the fun plans for an early night.

*I ask a LOT of questions. I know they’re teens and not always willing to talk but I try my best to meet them where they are. I’ll talk in the car {one of my favorite places}. I’ll go up to their room, sit on the bed, and talk away. If any one kid in particular is being extra quiet or having a rough day, I might sneak them away on a solo trip to grab a drink after school or dessert after dinner. I try to meet them where they are while asking these questions so sometimes they don’t even realize it.

*I’m a safe space. If my teens are talking and sharing and want it to stay between us, then it does. Now if there was a life/death situation, of course I’d share that with another parent but other things, I’m keeping to myself. I want them to know they can share and don’t have to be worried that I’ll tell my friends or tell their friends’ parents.

*HAVE FUN! These teens of mine are FUN! They “get” jokes, they make jokes, they can beat me in many card game or pickleball. I enjoy hanging out with them and dare I say, I think they enjoy hanging out with me? But, they’d never admit that. Just like any relationship, the more time you spend together typically the better your relationship. I think it rings true with parents + teens. I don’t smother them. Trust me, I know they’d prefer to be with friends but on certain evenings when they’re home, I do my best to make those moments count.

Just this weekend one of my mom friends who’s about two stages ahead of me in the parenting game, told me that every stage takes some time to get used to it, but that for her, every stage got a little sweeter. I’m leaning into that during this season. These teens are pretty great, friends.

Next month, we’re gonna discuss THINGS WE SAID NO TO LATELY! That should be a fun one! I hope you join us!

Thanks for reading today!

XO