I thought nineteen years deserved it’s own post. 🙂
Tab and I met my sophomore year, his junior year of college at Arkansas State University. I was “talking” to one of his friends and after we’d gone to dinner we stopped by Tab’s apartment for a bit. It was in the middle of Tab’s football off-season and he was living his best offensive lineman life. I even think he had a crazy long goatee happening at the time so we met that night but just a quick introduction because remember I was “talking” to his friend. Two years later, I was living in the apartments on campus over the summer with a few girlfriends. After church we were laying out by the pool and guess who happened to walk by? Tab! We chatted a bit, I later invited him over for dinner {and I actually told him to bring friends but he came solo-his genius plan if you hear him tell the story}, we began chatting and the rest is history. We were engaged about seven months later and married five months after that!
While we don’t have a perfect marriage {no one does, even if they say they do}, we’ve worked out some kinks over the years that have been helpful. These are the top five pieces of advice that quickly come to my mind…
*We don’t keep score. Trust me when I say, KEEPING SCORE IS HOW MY HEART IS WIRED. I wish I was kidding. It just comes naturally to me, but through the years and LOTS of prayer, I’ve learned to not keep score. And my goodness-what a difference it makes! A big part of the reason this was the opposite of helpful is because I was keeping track of ALL the things I did but I didn’t even know all the things he was doing so he was missing out on a lot of my invisible points. 😉
*We laugh and have fun together. This was important to us both when we were finding “the one” during our dating journeys and let me tell you…it was worth the wait! We don’t take ourselves too seriously which keeps our days extra joyful.
*Forgiveness is important. We mess up, we hurt each others feelings, etc…but we forgive each other and move on. We don’t have time to hold grudges. We have carpools to drive, kids to feed, and laundry to do. We’ve gotta move on!
*PRAYER is key! I think this one can go back all the way to my grandparents. I have no doubts my grandparents and my own parents spent years {and still do} praying for the husband and marriage I would one day have. Tab and I often talk about that and how we are praying for the future Slaughters to come. But we’re also praying for each other and our family on the daily.
*Prioritize each other. Marriage isn’t easy. Sometimes I’m so hard to deal with and other days Tab’s the difficult one, but we continue to put each other first. Over and over again.
I’m so thankful for this guy and the nineteen years we’ve been given. I’m excited about the next nineteen to come!
XO
Happy anniversary!!!
http://www.elspethsdaybyday.com
Thank you!!
Every single one of these was spot on AND something I needed to read myself this morning. I love you two so much!
We love you too! XO
What a sweet post! And some really great advice!
Thank you!
Happy Anniversary!
Thanks, Stephanie!
Congrats on 19 years! That’s such a huge accomplishment! I loved your entire list of advice too.
Thank you, Tiffany!
Happy anniversary to you both! Thank you for a reminder of things I need to make sure I do in my marriage. Also, belated happy birthday! Sorry I missed it the day of! I always say, “August babies are the best!”, probably because I am one too! Enjoy your anniversary and wishing you many more happy days together!
Thank you, Gigi! I definitely don’t have this married life all figured out BUT we’ve learned some things along the way.
Happy Anniversary! What a nice post! I love the idea of praying for the future of your family.
Thank you, Denise! Every once in a while we think of the could have beens and there are things in both of our lives where we took the right path but easily could have taken ourselves down the wrong road. We often think back and give my grandma Hency props. I’m convinced her prayers even when I was young but praying for Erika’s future husband helped Tab when his road had a fork.
Happy Anniversary! Your advice is spot on!
Thanks, Angie! XO
Congratulations on 19 years! I’ve enjoyed seeing you and Tab enjoy personal & professional success while I have been following along. Congratulations 🎈
Thank you, Christine!
What great advice that I needed to be reminded of, myself, this week. Thank you so much for sharing & HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!
Thank you, Alysa!
I was married later in life for the first time at age 41. After three years of marriage, I now resonate with all of these. Happy 19th to you guys!! Thanks for being a light on the sometimes-dark-interwebs, Erika!!
Brooke, this made my day! Thank you!