So I’m answering. 🙂
From the moment I shared about the adoption journey we were about to embark on until now I’ve gotten questions about the process and much much more. I always think if someone is asking that probably means others are wondering so then I opened it up for more questions and decided I’d cover them all. I’m covering half the questions in this post and I have a part 2 coming soon.
I want to add that I am by no means an adoption expert. I’m just sharing our experiences and my own thoughts and opinions.
*What scripture verses did you turn to during the wait for encouragement?
These are a few of my favorites…
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.”-Proverbs 3:5-6
“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.”-Romans 12:12
“But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31
“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” 1 Corinthians 4:17
*How did you get through the hard part of waiting?
To be honest, we didn’t wait long. Tab and I began the paperwork process in January of 2016 and happened to be the slowest people on the planet to finish the oodles of paperwork. It took us a sweet forever, but we never felt rushed about finishing. We just finished when we had time. We wrapped up at the end of October-beginning of November (I know. I know. We were slow.) And we got a glimpse of Britt in December. We knew nothing but got a few pictures so we weren’t sure she was ours just yet. But after staring at her picture from December to February, we were ecstatic about getting her official file on Valentine’s Day. All that to say, we didn’t wait long and again I never felt rushed through the process. We knew God had the perfect little girl for us in his perfect timing.
*Where do you even start the adoption process?
I would recommend you begin the process by interviewing some agencies. Reach out to people you know and get their feedback as well. I’d ask the agencies questions like…what is your wait time for (what age, gender, etc. you’re interested in), how much of the process are you responsible for (one of my girlfriends had to do a lot of the paperwork/filing/etc. herself and our agency did it all for us-might make a difference when you’re comparing agencies), ask about fees/costs, ask about the timelines, ask how many kiddos they placed last year, etc. *These are questions I’d ask no matter if you’re adopting domestically or internationally.
*How’d you choose your agency?
We chose our agency based on recommendations and then after talking/interviewing them as well. We had four friends who used our agency so we felt very confident about their reliability. It was a pretty easy decision when you know actual people and see children who’ve been placed using this particular agency.
*How’d you tell your children you were adopting?
We took our kiddos to dinner back in March 2016 to tell them. We wanted it to be special and a night they’d always remember. The kiddos all had such different reactions-Bowen had no clue what we were talking about, Nixon was okay with it, and Ebby Lee cried and cried because she’d no longer be the only girl. (Now, they’re all smitten.) We spent a good twenty minutes talking to Ebby Lee about the adoption during dinner and we listed all the positive reasons. By dessert, she was on board.
We told ours when we did because we had meetings scheduled with our home study agency.
We told ours when we did because we had meetings scheduled with our home study agency.
*How’d you get your kids excited about adopting?
We talked about Britt for a over a year. We prayed for her as a family. She was constantly on our minds. When we were matched and could put a face to a name, they were SO excited and ready to meet her. And to be honest, I think through lots of prayer God prepared their little hearts. My kids have been amazing with her.
*How’d you decide on China?
We knew we wanted to adopt internationally and while talking to our agency and giving some criteria for what we were looking for…girl, under Bowen’s age, etc…they immediately told us China was our answer. Other countries (at the time we began) were closed, taking longer than a few years to complete, etc. China was the perfect fit.
*What adoption agency did you use?
I got this question a lot and here’s the thing…choosing an agency is a big deal. You work very closely with them and it’s in the best interest of everyone involved for you guys to really mesh well. On our trip, we encountered three different families who’d used our same agency…one family loved them, one was indifferent, and one wasn’t happy. I’m saying all this to say that I don’t want to give the name knowing there’s a possibility you might not be happy with them. I’d hate to recommend them and you end up having a bad experience. I hope you understand.
*Did you and Tab instantly agree on adoption?
No, Tab is a big, tough looking guy but is complete mush over some topics and adoption is one that can bring him to his knees. Tab was on board long before I was about adopting. I was the one slowing down the process, but after lots of prayer God worked it all out. {I got this question a lot-I’d suggest LOTS of prayer if you and your spouse just don’t see eye to eye on this subject.}
*How’d you decide on Britt’s name?
Britt’s full name is Britt Bradford Slaughter. We agreed on her name pretty easily. We both instantly loved Britt. If you remember, when we were naming Bowen I was drawn to all kinds of one syllable names. Britt was a quick favorite for us both. And all of our other kiddos have a family name as their middle name so we knew we wanted a family name for her as well. You guys know Marla, Tab’s step-mom. She’s so sweet to our family and treats us as her very own…our kiddos included, so we chose to name Britt after her. Bradford is Marla’s maiden name and we loved it paired with Britt.
I think I’ve mentioned this before but if God has placed adoption on your heart it’s not an accident. I pray that you’ll listen, obey, and act. I remember hearing an adopted dad talk about his process and he kept using the word, “wrecked”. Adoption “wrecked” him and I didn’t fully understand what he meant. Now I get it. Knowing these babies are out there wrecks me too. Babies just like Britt who don’t even know what a mama is. Babies who are waiting to love someone and be loved unconditionally. Babies waiting for a forever family. Babies waiting for a mama bear to fight for them. It wrecks me. And I’m so glad we acted on this when God placed it on our hearts. We could have missed this. I’m praying you don’t miss it either.
Like I said, I got so many questions I’ll be covering the second half in the Q and A part two post coming soon. If you have a question you’d love for me to answer, please e-mail it at alittlebitofeverything83@yahoo.com. Thank you!
If you missed any of my China recaps, you can see them here…
*Did you and Tab instantly agree on adoption?
No, Tab is a big, tough looking guy but is complete mush over some topics and adoption is one that can bring him to his knees. Tab was on board long before I was about adopting. I was the one slowing down the process, but after lots of prayer God worked it all out. {I got this question a lot-I’d suggest LOTS of prayer if you and your spouse just don’t see eye to eye on this subject.}
*How’d you decide on Britt’s name?
Britt’s full name is Britt Bradford Slaughter. We agreed on her name pretty easily. We both instantly loved Britt. If you remember, when we were naming Bowen I was drawn to all kinds of one syllable names. Britt was a quick favorite for us both. And all of our other kiddos have a family name as their middle name so we knew we wanted a family name for her as well. You guys know Marla, Tab’s step-mom. She’s so sweet to our family and treats us as her very own…our kiddos included, so we chose to name Britt after her. Bradford is Marla’s maiden name and we loved it paired with Britt.
I think I’ve mentioned this before but if God has placed adoption on your heart it’s not an accident. I pray that you’ll listen, obey, and act. I remember hearing an adopted dad talk about his process and he kept using the word, “wrecked”. Adoption “wrecked” him and I didn’t fully understand what he meant. Now I get it. Knowing these babies are out there wrecks me too. Babies just like Britt who don’t even know what a mama is. Babies who are waiting to love someone and be loved unconditionally. Babies waiting for a forever family. Babies waiting for a mama bear to fight for them. It wrecks me. And I’m so glad we acted on this when God placed it on our hearts. We could have missed this. I’m praying you don’t miss it either.
Like I said, I got so many questions I’ll be covering the second half in the Q and A part two post coming soon. If you have a question you’d love for me to answer, please e-mail it at alittlebitofeverything83@yahoo.com. Thank you!
If you missed any of my China recaps, you can see them here…
I’ll see you Friday with some FAVORITES. 🙂
