Today girls…I’m getting real about something very near and dear to my heart….friendships.  I’m in the middle of reading “The Power of a Positive Mom” (I’ll share more details when I’m finished) and the chapter I read yesterday was all about friendships.  As I was reading, I thought to myself…”Why is this so hard for women sometimes?”.  As women we tend to yearn for good girlfriends.  I think we NEED those relationships (usually) a lot more than men.  I know I do.  But for some reason, some of us just aren’t that good at them.

Think about the friends in your life.  Not the acquaintances, but the real friends you have in your life.   How do you treat them?  Do you build them up?  Do you encourage them?  Do you give them grace when they’re having a rough day?  Or…do you talk about them behind their back?  Do you complain about them to your spouse or another friend?  What kind of friend are you?

This is the kind of friend I want to be and these are the kinds of friends I want in my life.  I want to be building others up and I want friends who will lift me up too.

At my Bible Study this week, (the leaders are married) the wife was telling about a rough patch in their marriage and she said it finally took a good girlfriend telling her that she was looking at things the wrong way.  I want girlfriends that will tell me TO MY FACE that I’m out of line.  I don’t want girlfriends that are just going to talk about it BEHIND MY BACK.

I think the great girlfriends in my life are true blessings.  I get asked a lot about my group of friends (probably because we put our lives out there in blog world…ha!).  The most asked question is, “How did you guys become such good friends?”.  To that I always say….

#1 Time
…well it takes time.  You have to spend time with friends before you can know if you can trust them, right?  

#2 Be REAL
It also takes both parties in the friendship being REAL.  If I’m telling a friend all my deepest darkest secrets and she isn’t sharing a thing, then it’s probably not a tight friendship.  You know what I mean?  You both have to be real and a little vulnerable.  

#3 Effort
And it takes effort from both sides.  One friend should never be the only one inviting the other to do something.  You both should be putting forth a mutual amount of effort.

Today I just want to encourage you….let’s build each other up!!  If you have a good friend in your life, you are BLESSED!!  Maybe you’re still searching for some true friendships, if that’s the case PRAY about finding some real authentic friends.  

Thanks for letting me spill my heart a little bit today.  I’m praying today….that each of you have someone to pick you up when you fall, that you remember-if you do have some good girlfriends you are BLESSED, and for those of you searching for some good friends, I pray that you’ll find them.

Let’s build each other up, ladies!!  Have a GREAT day!  XOXO

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  1. 9.24.15
    Mix and Match Mama said:

    I could not have asked for a better friend. You are everything you blogged about (and even more!). I truly thank God for you every day. Love you Erika. xo

  2. 9.24.15
    life of lo. said:

    I so agree and I actually just wrote about how hard it is to find girl friends recently! Thanks for a great reminder on how to be a friend!

    Linds @ Not A Mom

  3. 9.24.15
    kelly said:

    From what you share here on this blog, I've always gotten the impression that you're a diamond in the rough. Anyone would be blessed to have you as a friend. And I love the way you share your love of God.

  4. 9.24.15
    Kimm said:

    Love this post!

  5. 9.24.15
    AbigailCarter said:

    love this! and LOVE that book…I read it every year. Friends are so important in our lives & I don't know what I would do without my peeps. Happy almost Friday! 😉

  6. 9.24.15
    Sheaffer {Pinterest Told Me To} said:

    So thankful for you, because you are a wonderful friend who embodies everything you talked about today! I cannot imagine going through life without great girlfriends!

  7. 9.24.15
    Anonymous said:

    Great post!! Love it and you!! Xoxo 🙂

  8. 9.24.15 said:

    I love this. it's so true.
    my dearest friend has been there since we were 7.. yes 7.. and we've barely gone more than a few days without speaking. we've never had an argument .. people never believe this but it's true. we have gone through dating teenage years, growing up , fertility issues, we both moved from UK to new countries .(she actually lived in frisco) she was widowed in her 30s and I immediately jumped on a plane to be with her..and in 11 sleeps I get to see her.. eeekk I can barely wait. as Anne of green gables said "she's my bosom friend"

  9. 9.24.15
    Laurie S said:

    THANK YOU FOR THIS EXCELLENT POST Erika! You have given me a lot to think about as I go through a time of change, which includes friendships. Your points are spot on. Thank you.

  10. 9.24.15
    Unknown said:

    I absolutely NEEDED this post today!!! I am new to your blog but I have so enjoyed reading it every day! This is something that I have had on my heart alot lately and it really just sums up all my thoughts and feelings. I am about to get married in December and my fiance and I had a separate group of friends when we got started dating. We have struggled to get those friendships to mesh together. We are finally realizing that some of them are meant to and some of them aren't and that this is okay. We have to be the friend to them that we would want them to be to us and what they do is up to them. 🙂 Thank you for pouring your heart out!! 🙂 Your sisters in Christ (like me) really needed to hear it!!

  11. 9.24.15
    Leigh (Balancing By Faith) said:

    Love this – I have found it is so hard to create and make friends the older you get – but so very important!!!

  12. 9.24.15
    Jenny said:

    This is my very favorite post that you've ever written. I prayed for years that God would send me a true best friend and he sent me 2. I couldn't love them more.

  13. 9.24.15
    Leigh said:

    This was a beautiful post Erika. It's so, so true. I have a handful of close friends and they mean the world to me. I love my friends that are 100% honest with me and tell me when I'm being stupid or when my "new favorite" jeans/shirt/skirt/dress don't look good on me. Some of my closest friends live in another state and that's hard, but I am so thankful that the best friendships can withstand the distance.

  14. 9.24.15
    Anonymous said:

    What a great post! You sound like a great friend, your friends are very lucky to have you! Have a wonderful day 🙂

  15. 9.24.15
    Kelsey @ The Peacock Roost said:

    Love this post! Being in my mid-20's & newly married, my friends group is changing a lot and you are so right! It's important to have the good quality friends who are there for you not matter what! Glad you have such a great group of girlfriends!

  16. 9.24.15
    Stephanie B. said:

    I don't normally comment on your blog but this one really spoke to me. Everything you said was so true and I feel so blessed to have real friends that I can count on. Thank you so much for sharing!

  17. 9.24.15
    Anonymous said:

    You seem like a really good friend, Erika. Friends are REAL! Friends don't make passive aggressive remarks to make themselves look better.

  18. 9.24.15
    Laci said:

    I could not love this post anymore!!!

  19. 9.24.15
    Ann Marie said:

    Erika- loved your words- it just beamed you, completely! Have a great day, lady!!!

  20. 9.24.15
    Unknown said:

    I absolutely love this post! Good, close girlfriends are some of the most precious things in life! I'm in my early 20's and I have several very best girlfriends, but it seems like at this time in our lives, new jobs/relationships are spreading everyone out around the country! I treasure these friendships more than anything and I wish we could still do day-to-day life together. You're very blessed to have such a tight-knit group living near you! Did you make most of these friends after marriage/babies, or were they close friends from before?

  21. 9.24.15
    Lindsay's Sweet World said:

    I love every single thing about this post! Every bit of it is so true! I have a very close group of girls who I don't know what I would do without, and I'm so thankful for each and every one of them every single day.

  22. 9.24.15
    Meagan Ruse said:

    I love this post! Thank you for opening up your heart of friendship to me. Means the world!

  23. 9.24.15
    Lisa C said:

    My mother modeled what it is to be a friend. She's now 79 and her gaggle of "girls" meet every Monday and Friday at McDonalds for a senior drink (plus they see each other at church events, etc). They laugh so much that frequently people stop by to ask what they're doing. They pray over their kids. They support each other through thick, thin and barely hanging on. Some of them have known each other since the second grade. A wonderful legacy to pass on to their children. Recently one of their husbands passed away. You would not believe how this band of women lifted her up, carried her through, and sat and held her hand as she cried. Great post.

  24. 9.24.15
    Nicole B. said:

    Thanks for the post. Very good! Now I want to read the book. I could use some prayers for good friendships.

  25. 9.25.15
    Michelle B. said:

    I need to read this. I've been praying recently about finding a true friend or friends because they're hard to come by these days. You're very blessed to have such a great group of girlfriends.

  26. 9.25.15
    Megan said:

    Love this so much!! I also love that I have friends from each stage of life that are there for me no matter what! Now that I'm starting over again I get to start building friendship from the beginning. It's both good and bad! I want to fast forward through the time thing and just have some great friends!

  27. 9.26.15
    Trista @ The Classy Chaos said:

    Such a great and real post, Erika. I have very few real friends and I know that is my fault. I need to spend more time and put forth more effort!

  28. 9.27.15
    Shelly @ The Queen in Between said:

    I can only imagine that you are a committed, sweet friend from what I read here. These are all great points and all true. I think the biggest thing I've seen get in the way of my friendships in the past has been the comparison game. I'm a work outside the home mom and having friends who have had the choice to be work at home moms created a little jealousy for me. I really had to work hard to remind myself I was where God prepared me to be just as they were living the life God prepared for them. Since being in my 40's I feel like I finally have such good sense of who I really am and it has been easier to be a great friend to others. I definitely want to be a source of joy and inspiration in a friendship.